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[Anne and the Plantars have arrived in Stony Gulch, parking Bessie and the fwagon outside the town's entrance before entering.]
[all] New town! New town! New town!
[gasps] Food. Shops.
This place is so cool.
What should we do first?
Hop Pop: Let's see. (He opens his wallet and finds only moths inside, which fly out.) Nothing. All we can afford is window-shopping, kids.
[all sigh] Aw.
Anne: Man, it's hot. (She puts her hood down.) Better.
(Gasps are heard. Anne turns to see all the townspeople staring at her agape by her appearance.)
Anne: Right. Sometimes I forget about the whole "I'm a freak in this world!!" thing.
[A tadpole starts crying.]
Anne: Whoa, whoa. Don't cry. I'm not a monster. I'm just weird. See? (She wiggles her nose, then her ears and strikes a pose.) Ta-da! (winks)
Townsfolk: Ooh.
Tadpole: Mommy, Mommy! Give the freak money!
Mother: It was a lovely performance. (gives Anne some coppers) Here!
Tadpole: Do it again! Do it again!
(Anne looks back at the Plantars.)
Polly: (excited: gives a thumbs-up) Milk it!
Ooh.
Amazing.
Incredible.
Take my money. All of it.
This is so much better than that creepy oddities museum.
Anne: Oddities museum? What the heck is an oddity in Amphibia? Am I right?
[crickets chirping]
Anne: Stick to physical comedy. Got it. (She punches herself in the face.)
[all laughing]
Wow, Anne. You made a bucket of money! Literally! Whoo-hoo!
Now, how are we gonna spend all of this cay-esh?
Hmm.
Anne: Ooh. That oddity place is still open! How about it?
Hop Pop: Well, you made the money. But only if you keep your hood up. don't like you drawing so much attention to yourself.
Anne: Deal. Let's do it.
Polly: Uh, I think this place is closed! So let's leave and never come back!!
Anne: Are you kidding? Come on.
[all shuddering]
Anne: [chuckles] Guys, it's all fake! They're trying to scare you! Whoa. Look at this hot mess! It's actually pretty lifelike!
Polly: Yeah, it even smells real.
The Curator: Hands off the merchandise!
[all screaming]
[The Curator screams as well, then starts laughing.]
The Curator: The ol' "mistaken for a grotesque lifeless being!" Works every time! Welcome to my Museum of Oddities. I go by many names, but you can call me "The Curator."
Polly: Little on the nose, but okay.
The Curator: And if you chuck some of that cash into this here sack, I'll give you a tour of the greatest museum these parts have to offer!
[Anne puts some coppers in the sack. The Curator takes a closer look at her.]
The Curator: Hmm. What's the matter, honey? Face too ugly for public? Ha!
Anne: Wouldn't you like to know.
The Curator: Oh. A mystery. I love it! But enough chitchat. Walk with me. I've traveled all over Amphibia, collecting its most rare and frightening creatures. Like the two-headed love dove. There's... I dunno, probably some kinda marriage allegory in there. Oh, and over here, the bugball playing praying mantis, Airbug! There's nothing in the rule book that says a mantis can't play bugball. I got the weirdest stuff right here. Feel free to look around. But keep in mind, breathing in the dust will be extra. [laughs]
[The Curator throws a smoke bomb on the ground, which explodes. As the smoke clears, he looks to have disappeared, but then he runs from behind a wax statue while panting.]
Polly: [gasps] Oh.
[The wax monster's eyes suddenly move. Polly screams and jumps into Hop Pop's arms.]
Polly: [groans] Its eyes! They're watching me!
Well, I had enough.
Yep, me too.
Anne, this place is freaking us out. We're gonna wait outside.
Anne: Okay, cool. See you guys...later?
[She sees what appears to be a Skip Man in the artifacts room and rushes over.]
Anne: Oh, my gosh. Is that an old Skip Man? My parents had one of these! How did it get here? Hey, Curator. How much is this Skip...
[The Curator suddenly appears.]
The Curator: Ah! The Skip Man. It can be yours... for a million coppers! [laughs]
Anne: Oh, come on, man. I can't afford that.
The Curator: Okay, fine. How about we trade for it then? Got anything rare or vomit-inducing I could display in exchange?
Anne: As a matter of fact, I do. [pulls back her hood]
The Curator: [lifts his eyepatch up] Sweet tadpole Mary!
Anne: That's right. I'm the ultimate oddity, baby! I'll make you a deal. I'll be your special attraction for one day only.
The Curator: Say no more, kid. One day of you in exchange for the Skip thing and everything I know about it. You got a deal.
Anne: Seriously? This is hu-yuge. You won't be disappointed, dude.
The Curator: I've already got some pretty elaborate plans for your exhibit. Come back tonight after closing time and we can discuss.
Anne: Elaborate, huh? I like the sound of that! See you later.
The Curator: Looks like we just hit paydirt, Frog Soos.
Frog Soos: Doo doo doo. Say, Mr. Ponds, do you get the feeling that we exist simultaneously in multiple parallel universes, completely unaware of the other's very existence?
The Curator: You've been licking yourself again, Frog Soos?
Frog Soos: (Chuckle) Caught me again, Mr.Ponds!
(Frog Soos licks his arm)
Anne: [squeals] You guys! You won't believe what I found in there. A Skip Man!
[all] Uh...
Anne: Trust me. It's big. And that Curator guy's gonna give it to me. All I have to do is be the museum's main attraction for a day.
No!
No!
Are you crazy?
Hop Pop: Anne, you cannot, by any means, do this.
Anne: But th-this is the first time I've found something from my world! It could explain so much.
Hop Pop: I understand that, Anne. But that Curator guy is... Well, just look at him!
The Curator: [chuckles]
Hop Pop: Tell you what, let's sleep on it, come back in the morning, and see if we can get some answers, okay?
Anne: Okay, you're right. I can wait. ..Until you fall asleep.
[all snoring]
[screams]
[sighs]
[laughs]
Anne: Curator! Yo! Curator!
[The Curator is standing near a doorway, where his torch lights up.]
Anne: Oh, there you are! That's not creepy at all!
The Curator: Welcome, welcome. So glad my little star is here! And every star needs a stage.
Anne: Whoa. Fancy! So about that Skip Man...
The Curator: Bup, bup, bup. All in good time, kid. You'll get what's coming to you.
Anne: Liking the sound of that!
The Curator: Say, why don't you stand up there? Soak it all in.
Anne: Whoa. Is this my mark? Should I hit it? I'm gonna hit it! Wha-bam!!
The Curator: [laughs] That's the stuff. Now, since you're my main attraction, I'm gonna let you in on this museum's biggest secret. You see, truth is nothing's fake. Everything here is real. Real and frozen in wax. Just like you!
[grunts, screams]
Anne: Ah, yep. Yeeep. This all tracks.
The Curator: I mean, it's crazy how easy that was! Honestly, I thought I was being way too obvious about it.
Anne: [groans] I can't believe this. I'm so stupid.
The Curator: Hey, hey. Don't talk about yourself like that! You're probably a very bright young lady who's just having a bad day.
Anne: Oh, thanks. That's actually a really nice thing to say.
The Curator: Hey. It's what I'm here for. So, as you've probably guessed, you're not just the main attraction tomorrow. You'll be here forever! [laughs]
[screams]
[snores]
[gags, spits]
Dang it, boy. Wait. Kids, where's Anne?
Oh, no. She went back to the museum.
We got to save her.
Back to the museum? At night?
You know what, I'll stay here and hold down the fort.
[Hop Pop] Oh, no, you don't. Come on.
Polly: Stop staring at me!
The Curator: [laughs] Um, uh, then it hits me. Artifacts. You can charge people when they break 'em. [munches] Win-win!
Anne: [groans] So boring.
The Curator: And Newtopia's got a ton of 'em. That's where I got that, uh, Skip guy you wanted.
Anne: Newtopia. Of course.
The Curator: Say, you want some of this canned meat? It's edible!
[rumbling]
The Curator: [grunts] That's what I get for going with a cheap machine. [grunts]
Hop Pop: Okay, boy. Here's the plan. First, I'll go in with a distraction. Then you come in behind...
The Curator: I think I got it. [grunts] Now we're cooking with gas, or whatever it is we frogs use.
Sprig: There's no time! Come on! [runs in screaming]
The Curator: Who are you? A cop? I ain't going back to frog prison!
Oh, no.
The Curator: Just a couple of common frogs. Ooh. I can stick 'em in the same mold. Call 'em the Two-headed Frog of Froglantis. [laughs] It's genius!
[both grunt]
Anne: Guys, get out of here! Save yourselves!
[both screaming]
[laughing]
Polly: I knew it! Enjoy being mush, you wax demon!
[The monster roars.]
Polly: This is worse.
-[both groaning]
-[growls]
The Curator: Looks like the end of the line for you two. [hears a crash behind him] What the...
[growls]
The Curator: No! My beautiful creations!
Hop Pop: Kids, melt the rest of 'em, quick!
[grunts]
[shrieks]
Frome 1: Whoo-hoo.
Frome 2: Whoo-hoo.
Frome 3: Shmebulock!
-[growls]
-[shrieks]
The Curator: Stay back, you filthy animals! You'll never catch me!
[The Curator tries to escape, but the creatures catch him.]
The Curator: You definitely caught me! Wait, wait! Hear me out! I'll cut you all in on the profits. 10%. Okay, 11%. 11.5%. I'm not coming to 12. So you might as well just...
-[screams]
-[growls]
(Red liquid leaking under the door)
The Curator: Calm down, everyone. It's just wax.
Sprig: Anne. Anne!
Hop Pop: Out of the way, kids!
Polly: She's frozen!
Hop Pop: Take her to go!
Anne: [sighs] I'll never get that Skip Man now.
Sprig: You mean this Skip Man?
Anne: No way! Dude, you're the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh. And the Curator said he got this from Newtopia. Which means we're on the right track.
Hop Pop: You know what else is on the right track? You keeping a low profile and not jumping into things without us.
Polly: I'm tired of facing my fears, Anne.
Anne: I know, I know. I shouldn't have gone off on my own. It was reckless. And besides, we work better as a team.
Hop Pop: [groans] Well, the important thing is, we're all okay. Except for that Curator. He's dead.
Sprig: Mm-hmm. Onward family! To Newtopia!
Anne: Hey, guys. Wanna see something cool? Did you know that this thing has a laser? Wha-bam!
[Hop Pop screams when the laser hits his eye.]
| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| TBA | |