| — This is a transcribed copy of Wally and Anne. — |
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| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| (Scene opens in the forest. Anne and the Plantars are walking to a grove of berry bushes, carrying baskets.) | |
| Hop Pop | Now remember, green and red, be well fed. Blue and red, instantly dead. |
| (Sprig begins chewing a large amount of green and red berries in his mouth.) | |
| Hop Pop | Oh, wait. Or was that, "Green and red, instantly dead"? |
| Sprig | (surprised) Huh?! (He immediately takes the berries off his tongue and walks ahead, disgusted.) Bleh! (A bored Anne picks up a mushroom.) |
| Anne | Hmm. Yup, that's a mushroom. (A silhouetted figure is seen running past Anne's view. She gasps, turns to the Plantars.) Did you guys see that? |
| Hop Pop | (Continues to walk away from Anne.) Purple and green heals the spleen. |
| Anne | Hey, guys! (The creature suddenly runs past Anne again.) Huh? What the heck? (She follows the source of the sound; she slides down a steep hill into a bush of tall grass.) Ahh-oof! |
| (Anne comes out of the grass and gasps in amazement. She sees a large green, floral, ape-like creature in an area of thick mist with glowing white butterflies. The creature breathes mist into its nostrils.) | |
| Anne | Whoa... (Suddenly sucks a butterfly into her mouth, coughing. The creature, startled, scampers away.) No, wait. Come back! You're so cool. (She coughs the butterfly out of her mouth. The Plantars arrive next to Anne.) |
| Hop Pop | There you are. |
| Anne | (gasps) You guys just missed it. |
| Sprig | What, you barfing up a butterfly? Naw, we totally saw that. |
| Anne | No, no, no, no. There was this magical creature made of moss. It was beautiful. (The Plantars laugh in disbelief.) |
| Sprig | Good one, Anne. Saw the ol' "Moss Man," huh? |
| Anne | Yeah, that sounds about right. |
| Hop Pop | Anne, the Moss Man's a myth. Only crazy people and gullible tadpoles believe in it. |
| Anne | Wait. You're telling me you guys (Shows pictures on her phone.) have giant fire-breathing beavers and mutant centipedes, but you don't believe in this? |
| Sprig | Well, yeah, we've seen those. Look, your world might have stuff like flying machines and magic memory boxes. But we don't have weird stuff like that here. (Huddles together with Hop Pop and Polly, smiling.) This is just a normal town. |
| Anne | (Snaps and raises her voice.) You're talking frogs! (Takes a deep breath.) Never mind. I'm done talking about it. |
| (Scene transitions to Anne walking back to Bessie in Wartwood with the Plantars.) | |
| Anne | I am NOT done talking about it! |
| Polly | [groans] Still? |
| Anne | I'm tellin' you guys, I saw it, I saw it, I saw it! |
| Hop Pop | Careful, Anne. You keep rantin' and ravin', you'll put One-Eyed Wally out of a job. |
| Sprig | Ha! She totally does sound like Wally. |
| Anne | [gasps] You take that back. I am not a weirdo like Wally. I'm a strong, sane woman who saw the Moss Man! (Wally suddenly appears next to Anne.) |
| Wally | So! You've seen the Moss Man too, eh? Hee-hee! (He twirls away from Anne, tosses his accordion aside.) I seen it once. Deep in the moors where it makes its home and feeds on mist. Skin of moss, it had. (Approaches too close to Anne.) Took me hand clean off, it did. |
| Anne | (Shoves Wally away from her.) You have both your hands, Wally. (He tumbles down on the ground and sees his left hand untouched.) |
| Wally | (gasps) Lefty! When'd you get back? (The Plantars start laughing again.) |
| Anne | Stop it! I know it sounds crazy when he says it. But I saw what I saw. |
| Polly | Whatever you say... (snickers) One-Shoed Anne. |
| Sprig | Huh? Oh, I get it. Like One-Eyed Wally. (chuckles) Sharp as ever, sis. (They both exchange high-fives.) |
| Hop Pop | [laughing] You might as well start learnin' the accordion... and sleepin' under bridges! (The Plantars and Wally laugh at a disgruntled Anne as they walk away from her.) |
| Wally | (pulls himself away) Wouldn't want to be that guy. (Sprig turns to Anne for a moment.) |
| Sprig | Anne, actually, I believe you... |
| Anne | (exasperated) Thank you! Jeez. |
| Sprig | ...dreamt it. I believe you dreamt it. (Anne snaps and screams angrily in a deranged manner.) |
| (Scene cuts to the Plantar residence at night. In the basement, Anne is struggling to sleep on her bed. She is having a hallucination of Sprig ridiculing her.) | |
| Sprig | She does sounds like Wally! Ha-ha-ha! (A hallucination of Wally's accordion appears.) |
| Hop Pop | Rantin' and ravin'. (A hallucination of the Plantars laughing in ridicule of her appears.) |
| Polly | One-Shoed Anne. One-Shoed Anne. |
| (Another hallucination appears as Wally from behind, but it has Anne's head instead of Wally's, smiling in an unhinged manner. Anne suddenly wakes up, sweating horribly.) | |
| Anne | Ah! (She starts panting. She immediately puts on her one shoe, zips her bag and leaves the basement.) |
| (At Wartwood, Wally is strolling past the town founder's statue, playing his accordion.) | |
| Wally | ♪ I lost me true love by the old willow tree... ♪ (He is suddenly grabbed by a white-eyed stranger in a hoodie.) Angel of death! You've come for me at last! |
| Anne | What? (Takes off her hood.) No, Wally, it's me. Anne. |
| Wally | So it is. Whoo! Deja vu. (Points to her.) You jumped me before? (Anne slaps down his hand.) |
| Anne | Listen, you said you know where the Moss Man lives. Take me there so I can snap a pic of it, prove I'm normal, and never be associated with you ever again. No offense. |
| Wally | (Pauses with a blink.) Okay. |
| Anne | (Pleads desperately.) Please! I just got people to stop calling me the town monster. I can't become the town weirdo. |
| Wally | I said okay. |
| Anne | Oh... Thanks. |
| Wally | But! The journey will be fraught with peril. (Starts playing his accordion on the way.) ♪ Ohh, the Misty Moors are dark and gray... ♪ |
| Anne | [chuckles] Hope he doesn't play that thing the whole way. |
| (Smash cut to a card reading "8 HOURS LATER". Around morning in the forest, Wally is still playing his accordion in a somewhat jolly way while Anne is feeling sleep-depraved with bloodshot eyes following him. Wally continues playing before he randomly stops.) | |
| Wally | Okay, that's enough. |
| Anne | Oh, thank goodness. Yes. |
| Wally | Or is it? (Immediately resumes playing his accordion and jumps on ahead. Anne slaps herself in the face for jinxing it and sobs angrily moving forward.) |
| (Scene transitions to a tall mountain, where Anne and Wally shimmy across a narrow ledge with a bottomless edge of mist below them.) | |
| Wally | ...and with his dying words he told me, "Wallace, take this accordion, find my killer and defeat him with the power of song." Anyway, enough about me. Tell me about yourself. |
| Anne | Hard pass. That's kind of personal and you're kinda basically an unstable stranger. |
| (Anne takes another step and suddenly falls off the ledge by a loose footing. Wally jumps down to catch her on the cliff edge, upside-down. Anne notices her phone fall off her backpack but is too late to catch it in time, as it plummets down the edge below.) | |
| Anne | [gasps] NOOOOOO!! |
| (Anne's phone is then caught by Wally's long tongue and pulls it back onto his face, launching them both back onto the ledge safely.) | |
| Anne | (Amazed at what happened.) Wally, you saved my phone! Oh, yeah, and my life. (Wally removes her phone off his eyes, his one good eye bruised.) |
| Wally | Don't mention it, love. I know how much this thing means to you. |
| Anne | Oh... Thanks. Now, let's hurry up and get that photo! |
| (Scene cuts to the Plantar residence. In the kitchen, Sprig is eating bugs with his tongue, Polly is gobbling down her bowl and Hop Pop eating soup politely. Sprig begins to notice Anne is nowhere to be seen.) | |
| Sprig | Hmm. Where's Anne? |
| (Scene cuts to a closeup of Wally and Anne's hands performing elaborate handshakes by a campfire at night.) | |
| Anne | Clap, pull it back, fist bump, flip it up, lock it in, twist it, twainst it, not against it, spank the baby, where's the baby, there's the baby, shake hands with the baby. |
| Wally | Wow, that was incredible. I'll never shake hands the normal way again. |
| Anne | (chuckles) Thanks. My friends used to think my elaborate handshakes were silly. |
| Wally | Oh, there's your first mistake, love. I never care what other people think of me. |
| Anne | (scoffs) Easy for you to say. Back home, your reputation is everything. |
| Wally | Lucky for you, you're not back home. |
| Anne | Huh? |
| Wally | Anne, the way I see it, you've got a great opportunity in front of you. Whole new world, new people, free to be whatever you want. |
| Anne | (Feels touched.) That's... kinda genius, Wally. |
| Wally | (Falls asleep with hands behind his head.) Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup. |
| Anne | (Notices him falling asleep.) Hey, dude, you still awake? |
| Wally | Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup. (Anne puts down a blanket on him and puts his hands inside.) |
| Anne | (chuckles) Weirdo. |
| Wally | Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup. |
We've finally made it. The Misty Moors.
Time for the Moss Man summoning ritual.
Summoning ritual?
[chanting gibberish]
Uh... Are you sure this is gonna work?
[gasps] Butterflies!
Oi! Where are you going? I'm only halfway done.
[panting]
[gasps]
Oh.
Whoa.
Hmm?
[groans]
[low growling]
[gasping]
[screaming]
-Quick! After it. -Oh, right.
[panting] Wait!
No! Wait.
No.
[panting]
[panting] Where'd it go?
Oh, dang mist!
We lost him again.
We were so close.
I just can't believe it's actually real.
I know, right? Wait, what?
I thought it was a myth. I mean, it's preposterous.
But you-- I don't-- What?
So you took me all the way out here based on a lie?
Yeah. I mean, we had fun, though, didn't we?
That's not the point. I could've easily gone back with no proof.
And then everyone would think I was like you.
What's so bad about being like me?
Wally...
Oh, woof.
Wally. I didn't-- [sighs]
That's not what I meant. I'm sorry.
It's cool you don't care what people think about you.
And I'm glad we came out here together.
-You mean it? -Totally.
Clap it, pull it back, fist bump...
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, no. Maybe... -Um...
-Yeah? Is that right? -It was... something like that? Yeah?
Now let's get a pic of that Moss Man. Together.
Oh! Look!
Huh? [yells] There it goes.
We gotta hoof it.
[both panting]
[Wally] Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup.
Huh?
[low purr]
Good thing I did bouldering club in school.
[grunting]
One hand in front of the other, Wally.
[grunts]
Oh! My iconic hat.
[grunts, gasps]
[low growling]
[chuckles] Perfect.
Yo, Wally, you almost up here?
Yep. And I think I'm really starting
-to get the hang of this. -[cracking]
[yells]
-Wally! -[screams]
[grunting]
Wally! Hold on, I'm coming.
No. I'll be fine. Just take the picture!
[growling]
[yelling]
[grunts]
I got you, buddy.
Thanks. Did you get the picture?
Not yet. Come on.
One, two, three.
[screams]
Upsy-daisy.
[sighs] It's gone.
The trail's gone too.
You lost your one chance to get proof
and it's all my fault.
Now everyone's gonna think you're as loony as I am.
You know what? I'm good with that.
Wait, really? What a turnaround.
We know what we saw.
And a good friend once told me
it doesn't matter what other people think of you.
That's a good line. Would your friend mind if I used it?
It was you, Wally.
[cackles] Yeah, I know.
Or was it?
You goofball.
-[screaming] -Wally!
So there we were, our bodies ravaged.
Hanging on the edge of the cliff,
the beastie staring down at us, lickin' its mossy chops.
Any proof?
Absolutely not.
-[all murmuring] -They're two peas in a pod, these loons.
-Eh, tough crowd. -Can't please everyone.
Well, best be heading off.
♪ Oh, there once was a lass Named Anne the Fair ♪
♪ She put up a front And played her part ♪
♪ But soon enough Touched this loon's heart ♪
Anne! We heard people at Stumpy's saying you're as weird as Wally.
You must be pretty upset.
[scoffs] Honestly, guys, I don't mind.
You don't have to be strong for us.
Let it out, girl.
No, seriously. I'm fine.
Shh. Poor thing.
[yells]
I'm One-Shoed Anne!
[Polly] She's deranged!