| — This is a transcribed copy of The Three Armies. — |
| Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
| Previous: "Fight or Flight" | Next: "The Beginning of the End" |
| — This section is currently incomplete. — |
| More details can be added to expand it. Please help Amphibia Wiki by making this section longer. |
Sasha: Listen up! Our spies tell us that Andrias plans to invade Earth in just a few days. So it's time for our rebellion to mobilize!
[everyone cheers]
Grime: We're ready!
Anne: Which means, it's time for us to join up with our newt and toad allies. Woooo!
[Everyone stops cheering and are disappointed.]
Wally: Did you say newts... and toads... coming here... to work with us?!
Sasha: Yeah. What's the problem?
Hop Pop: Historically frogs, toads, and newts haven't really gotten-
Grime (interrupting): What Hop Pop is trying to say is that things will be tense.
Anne: Really? But Duckweed's a newt, Toadstool's a toad, and you two have been happily living in Wartwood for years.
[Duckweed and Toadstool look at each other for a second.]
Duckweed: Eh, define happily.
Mayor Toadstool: That's definitely had its bumps.
Sasha: I don't believe this. You're telling me we spent all this time building this giant army and there's a chance you guys won't work together?
Hop Pop: We're just saying there's an extremely high possibility of that, yes.
[Sasha gets mad at this reaction.]
Anne: Cheer up, Sash. You're forgetting that I happen to be excellent at brokering peace between feuding factions.
Sasha: I... [gets very confused] whaaaat?
Anne: Hello? I brought the track team and band geeks together that one time to put on the school dance.
[cut to a photo showing a team track player and a band geek agreeing to the decision as Anne points to the agreeing hands happily]
Anne [offscreen]: Only award I've ever gotten.
[back to the Resistance]
Sasha: Oh yeah. By pointing out they both value proper lung control.
Anne: Getting these guys together will be a cinch. You'll see. We just need to find those connection points.
Sasha: You better be right. We don't have much time and a lot is riding on this.
Toadie: [enters] Madame generals. They're here.
[An army of toads and an army of newts march. As they stop marching, the army of Newts are led by Tritonio Espada while the army of toads are led by Captain Beatrix.]
Sasha: Beatrix! Tritonio! Welcome!
Beatrix (jumps off the spider steed on top): Enough pleasantries! I agree to fight alongside you frogs, but I draw the line at newts. They'll steal your sword and then stab me in the back with us.
[Jojo Potato pulls out mini wood stairs to get Tritonio down.]
Tritonio: Only because you toads are too slow... [he covers his nose alongside with Jojo] ...and smelly I might add.
Beatrix: I'm gonna turn your tail into a toothpick!
Hop Pop: Hey now! Come on you two! Let's at least try to get along.
[Beatrix and Tritonio look at Hop Pop, then look at each other now.]
Tritonio (sarcastic): Say Beatrix, did you hear something just now?
Beatrix (sarcastic): No. Maybe a small animal squeaking somewhere.
Hop Pop (embarrassed yet a bit mad): Oh, ignoring frogs now, eh? Typical. A snobby newt and a bully of a toad. Why am I not surprised?
Beatrix: That does it! This alliance is over.
Tritonio: Toodles!
[Beatrix and Tritonio are on their respective steeds]
Sasha: Guys, we need to work together if we're gonna stop Andrias. Let's just head down to the war room and talk through some strategies.
Tritonio: It would be a waste of time, Sasha. I mean, who can fix 900 years of conflict in a day?
Anne: [clears throat, offscreen] (onscreen) Who has two thumbs and is a neutral arbitrator who fell out of the sky? This girl! (points at herself)
[We see a photo of the band geek and the team track student agreeing again, this time upside down.]
[back to the same place]
Hop Pop: It is true that you fell out of the sky.
Tritonio: The idea does have merit.
Beatrix: Fine. If Anne thinks you can moderate, we'll stay.
Tritonio: As will we.
Hop Pop: Us too.
Anne (offscreen): Hop Pop, we live here.
Hop Pop: Oh, right.
Anne: Okay then. [does some anime cuteness pose] Let's start the healing!
(The newts march to enter the Resistance door as Sprig and Ivy look on. The toads are marching and are inside. An aqua green frog puts Tritonio's beetle steed and Beatrix's spider steed with Bessie)
Bessie: (chirps)
Beatrix's Spider Steed: (roars)
(cut to Polly at the weapon check)
Polly: Weapon check here! Weapon check. Leave a weapon, take a number.
(A toad gives his gold teeth while a newt gives a spike hammer to Polly. Much to her delight, she then puts the gold teeth in her mouth while laughing and running around with the hammer on her left hand)
(cut to the plan meeting)
Sasha: All of Andrias' power comes from this music box. So our best bet is to get it away from him.
Anne: (writing the word, spitballin', on the chalkboard) Alright friends, any ideas? Remember, this is a safe space full of chill vibes and good intentions.
(Beatrix raises her hand)
Tritonio: Oh.
Beatrix: What? I have an idea.
Tritonio: Let me guess. You want to bash in a front door, beat up anyone you see, and take the music box.
(Beatrix gets embarrassed as her cheeks turn pink)
Beatrix: Maybe.
Tritonio: Typical toad maneuver. It'll never work.
Anne: Tritonio, let's keep it positive. All ideas are welcome here.
Tritonio: Even bad ones?
Anne: Especially bad ones.
Hop Pop: Well uh, I have an id-
Tritonio: I propose a more intelligent approach. We take a small strike force, dress them up as orphans, sneak past the guards, and steal the box.
(Anne writes orphans on the chalkboard)
Sasha: I'm not confident that would succeed. Andrias' security is top notch and I don't think orphans are gonna trick a bunch of soulless robots.
Tritonio: With the right orphan costume, you can trick anyone. It's proven.
Beatrix: HA! Now who has bad ideas, you cocky newt?
Anne (offscreen): Beatrix, that's not helping.
Beatrix (blush embarrassment): Right.
Hop Pop: (clears throat) Would anyone like to hear my idea?
Beatrix: HA! A frog with a battle strategy?!
Tritonio (holding his laughter): Yes, yes. What is it? Maybe paint a barn? Have a hoedown?
(Beatrix and Tritonio laugh before Hop Pop's had enough)
Hop Pop: That's it!
(Hop Pop jumps out of the chair and tackles Tritonio. Beatrix then jumps and tackles both of them. Grime is enjoying this.)
Sasha: Anne, this isn't working. We need to do something.
Anne: You're right, Sash. It's time for... (distorted voice) team building exercises.
(cut to the Resistance)
Anne: (onscreen) Okay folks, listen up! (offscreen) In order to defeat King Andrias and his robot hordes, we need to work together. (onscreen) First step, is the mirror exercise. I learned this one at summer camp. Everyone gather around in a circle and (does the mirror pose) mimic my movements exactly. (Sasha mimics it)
(Hop Pop, Wally, and Mrs. Croaker do the same exact pose)
Beatrix (while she and the toads do the pose): Excuse me, what's the point of this?
Tritonio (while he and the newts do the pose): If it's to make us all feel stupid, it's working.
Anne (closing her eyes and still doing the pose): This is all about harmony, people. Can you feel it? (opens her eyes as she does a different pose) Can you feel the harmony?
Armies: Ugh!
(All of the people from armies do the same pose Anne did, before a blue toad falls, making everyone fall like a domino. Anne facepalms while Sasha is in her questionable face)
(cut to the people doing another exercise)
Anne: (offscreen) Next up is the human knot... (onscreen) or in this case the human-frog-toad-newt knot thing. (Duckweed and Sasha roll their eyes) Try to untangle yourselves while holding hands.
(Sprig successfully jumps over Grime)
Sasha: Gotta twirl, Grimesy.
Grime: Hmph. (blushes in embarassment as he twirls)
(the rest of the people are trying to untangle themselves until...)
Purple Newt Soldier: Come on toad. Figure it out.
Tan Newt Soldier: Yeah, use that big brain of yours.
(The red eyebody toad soldier grabs both of them along with the frog. This leads to a big rolling ball as Anne facepalms again)
(transition to the next step)
Anne (offscreen): Next up, the three-legged race.
(a Purple Newt Soldier and a Toad Soldier look at each other very mad)
Anne: Runners on your mark, get set... (blows her whistle)
(both the blue frog and the Soldier fall while a Toad Soldier steps on the Newt Soldier's tail, leading for him to be in pain)
Green Toad Soldier: (chuckles while running)
Toadie: (screams)
Green Toad Soldier: (crosses the finish line with Toadie) WOO! YES!! (spikes Toadie like a ball) Nailed it!
(Toadie knocks over Sasha)
Anne: (sees the big rolling ball of newts, toads, and frogs) Oh no, not again!
(transition to the next step where both frogs, toads, and newts, are groaning after what happened earlier)
Anne: Next, we have the trust fall. This is the final step to knowing that you'll have each other's backs out there. Now, when I say go...
Large Toad Soldier: Go? (falls and everyone gasps)
Anne: No!
(The Large Toad Soldier hits the ground, knock over a green frog and a purple newt soldier)
Purple Newt Soldier: Way to leave your armor on, you dumb toad.
Large Toad Soldier: Well, you weaklings were supposed to catch me.
Anne: Guys, remember this is about supporting each other.
Large Toad Soldier: (offscreen) Support? (onscreen) I got support right here. (pulls a wedgie out of the Purple Newt soldier as the newts gasp)
Green Frog: Oh, jeez!
Toads: (laughter)
(the Tan Newt Soldier tackles the Large Toad Soldier as the newt slaps him with his tail before the toad throws him, knocking out Toadie)
Frog: That does it!
Newt: Oh it's on!
(Everyone fights except Anne and Sasha. Chaos is happening by each frog, toad, and newt)
Sasha: Oh my gosh. Anne, this is a total disaster.
Anne: They're fine. They're just blowing off steam. I mean, at least they don't have their weapons.
(fighting continues as a toad pops up)
Toad Soldier: Did somebody say weapons?!
(everyone starts getting their weapons)
Anne: Noooo!
(everyone at the weapon check, Polly is happy)
Polly: Weapon! Take a weapon, leave a body.
Anne: No. Wait guys, we can talk about-
(everyone knocks out Anne)
Anne (in pain): This...
(the newt army is ready)
Tritonio (on his beetle steed): Newts! (pulls out his sword) To me!
(various newts pull out crossbows)
Beatrix (on her spider steed): Toads! (pulls out her ax) Battle formation!
(various toads pull out spiky hammers)
Hop Pop (on Bessie with his pitchfork): Come on, frogs! Uh, do the best you can.
(Toadie, Wally, and Mrs. Croaker pull out pitchforks while Loggle uses his muscles)
(everyone is ready to battle each other)
(Sasha helps Anne to get up)
Anne: NO!
Hop Pop, Beatrix, Tritonio: CHARGE!!
(Everyone is ready to battle charge at each other. Sasha then looks at Anne, worried. And then...)
Anne: (activates her powers) ENOUGH!!! (jumps up while Sasha looks at her in awe)
(Anne then stops the battle before it even starts)
Anne: I SAID ENOUGH!!! (uses the blue gem ability to push everyone away, everyone screaming in the process, to stop fighting)
Grime: (to Sasha): Ahem. Probably should've let you having powers there.
(Sasha looks at him)
Anne: All this time I thought I can solve your problems and heal this rift.
(a newt and a toad gasp; everyone looks at her, very shocked of what she can do with her powers)
Anne: But I was wrong. This is no quick fix. I can't solve this problem for you. (deactivates her powers and falls down softly while Sasha catches her) Only you can. So when you're ready to work together and save the world, let me know.
(Anne exits along with Sasha. The armies look at each other very guilty.)
(cut to the plan meeting room)
Sasha: Dang, Anne! You were a total boss out there.
Anne (emotional, looks at Sasha): I'm s-s-sorry Sash. I thought can help. But-but-
Sasha: Aww, Boonchuy. You did all you could. Now buck up, soldier. We'll figure out a new plan.
(a few minutes later)
Anne: Okay, maybe we could-
(Hop Pop, Beatrix, and Tritonio enter the room)
Beatrix: (clears throat) We came up with a plan!
Tritonio: Hopediah came to us and got us thinking. If Beatrix does her original plan and attack Andrias' front door...
Beatrix: ...we can draw the attention of his forces. Leaving a window for a small group to sneak in the back door and steal the music box while they're distracted.
Hop Pop, Beatrix, and Tritonio: What do you think?
Sasha: I think that's... perfect! It's just like the plan from that movie.
Anne: War of the Warlocks. That's right! Marcy made us watch it every sleepover.
Sasha: And you came up with this together. (smiling) I thought you hated each other.
Tritonio: Well, Anne was right. We can't count on anyone else to solve our deep-rooted problems.
Beatrix: In the meantime, you have to see that we really do want the same thing to take our world back from that crazy king!
Hop Pop: We might not be able to forget the past. But if we work together, we might have a future.
(Anne and Sasha are happy about this plan result)
Sasha: Alright, then let's draw this game plan up and-
(a crash occurs)
Sasha: Whoa!
(the rest run to see what's happening)
Beatrix: SWEET SWOBBLER SUSAN!!
(turns out, it was Mother Olm, crashing the party and coughing after crashing through a window)
Mother Olm: Hello, young friends!
Anne: Mother Olm?!
Sasha: What are you doing here?
Mother Olm: I have some very important news. It's Andrias. We Olms can feel the tremors of his army's movement. That information about him moving out in a few days was a lie. He plans to invade Earth tonight.
(Hop Pop, Beatrix, Tritonio, and Sasha look at Anne)
Anne: Looks like it's go time. (to Sasha) You ready?
Sasha: You heard the lady. Let's move out!
Everyone (except Anne and Sasha): Yes ma'am.
(Polly and Wally hand out weapons to the soldiers, a toad soldier puts the armor on for the frog, giving themselves a thumbs up afterwards, a newt soldier ties the armor vest up to a toad soldier, also giving themselves thumbs up. Mother Olm is happy that the soldiers are gearing up to go to war. Sprig walks up to Anne)
Sprig: Is now a good time to mention that we've also allied with an army of mushroom zombies?
Anne: Let's give them a minute.
Sprig: Got it!