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This is a transcribed copy of Lost in Newtopia.
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[Outside Newtopia, seagulls fly away as the robot waves its arms. We cut to Newtopia where Anne and the Plantars are on a tour bus.]

Tour Guide: [On the speakers] Welcome, ladies and gentle-phibians, to a safe uneventful afternoon of touristy nonsense. It may not be as eventful as other tours but did I mention it's safe?

Anne: This is the last time we let Hop Pop pick the activity.

Hop Pop: Look Anne, we've got a few days to kill before King Andrias reveals his findings about the music box. And what better way to spend that time than learning? [Anne, Sprig, and Polly groan. Anne then sees various food outside.]

Anne: Oh, wow, what's that place?

Tour Guide: Imminent danger. Look away!

Polly: But imminent is the best kind of danger.

Tour Guide: Now then, what's the most important thing to do when visiting Newtopia? Any guesses?

Anne: Ooh, ooh! Eating like a local? Looking like a local? Partying with the locals?

Tour Guide: Nope. It's getting to know the city from a safe distance. Like on this bus.

Hop Pop: Such wisdom. [Anne and Polly sigh.]

Anne: This is just like when I'd go traveling with my mom.

[We go to a flashback where Anne and her mother are in Thailand. She sees people lining up to get Thai food.]

Young Anne: Mom, can I please try some of that?

Mrs. Boonchuy: No, sweetie, your California stomach can't handle it. But you can have carrot stick and trail mix. [Young Anne whimpers in sadness and we go back to the present.]

Anne: I didn't want the baby carrots, Mom! I didn't want 'em! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! [A driver rolls up her window as Anne cries.] You know what?

Polly: What?

Anne: This time, I'm gonna experience the city the way the locals do! Not sit on a bus like some dumb tourist!

Tour Guide: And now for our tour of the tour bus. This is the ceiling, what a good ceiling! Not to be outdone by the floor!

Male Newt: Ooh!

Polly: Count me in. So what do we do?

Anne: Follow my lead. [groans] Oh, man, Hop Pop, my stomach is killing me. Can we go back to the hotel?

Polly: Uh, me too. I need to get off now or I'll explode! [The other passengers gasp.]

Hop Pop: [gasps] Why does this keep happening? Now I'll never make it to the cheese museum.

Anne: No, no! Why don't you stay on the tour? We can head back ourselves.

Hop Pop: And we're back. But you two gotta promise me you'll go straight to the hotel. No detours!

Anne and Polly: We promise!

Anne: Sprig, you coming?

Sprig: I thought you'd never ask. [He tries to leave, but gasps after seeing that he is handcuffed to Hop Pop.] You handcuffed us together?!

Hop Pop: Sorry, Sprig, but after the Ruins of Disaster incident, you've left me no choice.

Sprig: Well, the jokes on you. Anne and Polly would never leave me. [He sees Anne and Polly getting off the bus.]

Anne: Later, dude!

Sprig: [Trying to free himself] No! No, no, no, no, no!

Hop Pop: Now sit your butt down and put on your cheese hat. [He puts a cheese hat on Sprig.]

Sprig: Noooooooo! [The bus takes off.]

Anne and Polly: Ah.

Anne: Welcome, Polly, to the bowels of the city. [We show various food tents and some children riding a centipede.]

Polly: You know, it's been a long time since you and I had a solo adventure.

Anne: Heck, yeah! We're way overdue. Looks like it's finally time for team P'Anne to get more screen time. [She and Polly jump in the air.]

Both: Team P'Anne for life! [They fall to the ground.]

Anne: Ow! [Polly groans as she bounces off the ground.]

Polly: Our team name's bad.

Anne: Yeah, it could be better. Anyhoo, let's get this authentic experience started.

Polly: [Near map guides] Okay, sounds good. [Anne picks her up.] Oh!

Anne: No guides! People will know we're lame-o tourists.

Polly: [gasps] You're right. Don't wanna be like that guy.

Frog #1: Aw.

Anne: All right. Step one, eat like the locals. [She points to a food booth.] Street food, baby. Nothing more authentic. [She and Polly walk over to the food booth.] Hey, buddy. Can you whip us up a couple of... [She picks up a menu in the ancient Amphibia language.] Uh... Uh... Actually, we'll just take two of whatever the locals eat.

Food Booth Owner: Uh, are you sure? I mean, we don't usually serve this to outsiders. It's pretty spicy.

Anne: Ha! That don't scare me. After all, I'm Thai.

Food Booth Owner: Uh, Jerry. All right. Whatever. Two extra spicys. Here you go.

Anne: All right!

Anne & Polly: Cheers!

Anne: Hey, not bad! [groans, pants]

[coughs, screams]

[gulps]

Polly: [laughs] Weak!

[all gasp]

-[panting]

Jerry: Hey! You two torched my roof.

Polly: Prove it!

Anne: Sorry, my good man... Eh, newt. This should cover the cost.

Jerry: [sighs] Didn't you read the sign? Cash only!

Anne: Uh... [chuckles] Well, of course I did... Run, Polly!

Jerry: Hey!

[Polly screams]

Polly: Could you not throw me?!

Anne: I panicked! I panicked!

Jerry: Get back here! Just wait till I get my hands on you.

Anne: Whew! That was close. Man, Polly, I feel so authentic. I can't feel my face but my heart feels alive!

Polly: Did you see the part where I breathed fire? What's next? What's next?

Anne: Step two, look like the locals. What's the one thing they've got that we don't?

Polly: Cash money.

Anne: Tails! Big, beautiful newt tails.

Polly: Well, actually, I have a tail but I see what you're doing.

-Tails. Tails. Tails. -Tails. Tails.

-Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails. -Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails.

-[Anne, Polly] Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails. -Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails.

-Tails. Tails. Tails. -Tails. Tails. Tails.

Anne: Two tails, please, for two locals.

Locals, hey? Well, nice to meet ya.

Anne: Whoa, uh... Am I supposed to, uh...

Now let's get you fixed with a temporary tail until your new one grows back.

Anne: Gross. And okay!

Hmm. Exactly how long was your old tail?

Anne: How long you got?

Anne: All right! Now that's what I'm talking about.

Ow!

Anne: Hey, Polly! Find one you like?

Polly: Gimme that one.

Anne: This is it, Polly. You have a tail, I have a tail. We totally look like the locals.

Polly: Yeah, we're definitely blending in. [laughs]

Anne: Oh, hey, what's that stand over there selling? [She accidentally strikes a paper boy with her tail, who screams as he falls.] Oh, my Gosh. [She turns around, only to accidentally strike an elder newt, knocking off her glasses.]

Elder Newt: My glasses!

Anne: Ah, sorry!

Guard: All right, all right, what seems to be the problem?

Anne: Ooh! I'm so sorry.

Guard: [grunts] Wha... [grunts] I oughta lock you up for disturbing the peace.

Anne: You ought to, but you won't, right?

Guard: Oh. Smart one, hey? That's it! You're coming with me.

-[screams] -[yells]

[screams, blows whistle]

[groans]

Guard 1: Dang it! We'll never find them in this crowd.

Guard 2: What? Sure we will.

Guard 1: Shush. I'm lazy.

Guard 2: Ah.

Anne: [sighs] That was intense. Being authentic is more work than I thought.

Polly: I don't know. Seems pretty cool to me. What's next?

-[marching band playing] -[crowd cheering]

Newt Mother: Look at that, sweetie.

Newt Child: Ooh.

Anne: Step three, baby. Party with the locals.

[both] Whoo-hoo!

Anne: Hey, can I join in?

I don't see why not.

Anne: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Polly: Go, Anne! You maniac!

Anne: Oh, hey! Mouth control.

Polly: What?

Anne: [mimicking] Hi, Polly. I'm Freddie the Fish. Fry me up for dinner.

-[Anne mimicking laugh]

[Polly continues laughing until she notices everyone has gone quiet.]

Polly: Wait, something's wrong.

Anne: I'm delicious. [laughs]

-[crowd gasps]

Anne: Huh?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Anne: Oh, I'm sorry. I was just dancing with your goofy mascot.

[crowd gasps]

That "goofy mascot" is Igor the Brave. He's a great hero who once gave his life to save Newtopia. This parade is in his honor.

Anne: My bad. I had no idea. [trips] Whoa!

[crowd gasps, clamors]

Polly: We should run, right?

Anne: Heck, yeah!

After them!

Guard 1: Hey, it's those two kids. At least one of them's a kid. The other one is some kind of funny-looking...

Anne: Just chase us already!

Guard 1: You got it!

[Anne panting]

You've got to be kidding me.

Jerry: Spicy wraps here. Get your spicy wraps. Hey, it's you two! Get back here. [grunts] Siege mode!

[yells]

Holy... [screams]

Anne: Forget authenticity. Forget being a local. We should've used a brochure. A guide. Anything! Heck, we should've never left the tour bus. [screams]

Hop Pop: [screams] Street freaks! Oh, wait. No, it's just my granddaughter and my adopted granddaughter.

[crowd approaching]

Anne & Polly: Let us in! Let us in!

Tour Guide: Everyone, remain calm. As long as we don't open the doors or windows, this disaster will pass us by.

Sprig: Forget that!

[Anne screams]

[Polly screams]

Hop Pop: Quick, get in!

[all scream]

Jerry: Oh, no, you don't!

[Anne strains]

[Anne strains, screams]

Anne: This is insane! Leave me!

Polly: Never! Team P'Anne for life, remember?

Anne: That's right. That's right. P'Anne can't lose!

Polly: [gasps] I just thought of a better name. An-olly.

Hop Pop: Oh, that's not better.

Sprig: It's worse, actually.

Anne: [sobs] "An-olly." I... I love it. Now let's end this thing.

Jerry: Don't make this harder than it has to... [groans]

Anne: Kick in the neck! [Snatches a spicy wrap] Yoink!

Jerry: Oh, boy.

[crowd screams]

[burps]

Whoo!

You guys still want to check out that cheese museum?

[all] Yes, please!

Marcy: [groans] This is the last book and still nothing on the music box.

King Andrias: Well, even I have to admit I'm surprised. This is one of the most comprehensive libraries in all of Amphibia. Maybe we missed a book somewhere.

Marcy: [groans] I need more bug-accinos. B-R-B. Whoa! Ah, dang it! Tell me that tapestry wasn't hundreds of years old.

King Andrias: Oh, way older than that actually.

Marcy: No!

King Andrias: But wait! Marcy, look!

Marcy: Hmm. I'ma push it. Bop.

King Andrias: What the... Huh?

Marcy: No way. A secret library wing. Did you know about this?

King Andrias: No. It must be thousands of years old, judging by the smell. Whew!

Marcy: Well, come on. I just know the answers are down there waiting for us.


ve Episode transcripts
Season 1 1. Anne or Beast?/Best Fronds • 2. Cane Crazy/Flood, Sweat & Tears • 3. Hop Luck/Stakeout • 4. The Domino Effect/Taking Charge • 5. Anne Theft Auto/Breakout Star • 6. Sprig Vs. Hop Pop/Girl Time • 7. Dating Season/Anne Vs. Wild • 8. Contagi-Anne/Family Shrub • 9. Lily Pad Thai/Plantar's Last Stand • 10. Toad Tax/Prison Break • 11. Grubhog Day/Hop Pop and Lock • 12. Civil Wart/Hop-Popular • 13. Croak & Punishment/Trip to the Archives • 14. Snow Day/Cracking Mrs. Croaker • 15. A Night at the Inn/Wally and Anne • 16. Family Fishing Trip/Bizarre Bazaar • 17. Cursed!/Fiddle Me This • 18. The Big Bugball Game/Combat Camp • 19. Children of the Spore/Anne of the Year • 20. Reunion
Season 2 1. Handy Anne/Fort in the Road • 2. The Ballad of Hopediah Plantar/Anne Hunter • 3. Truck Stop Polly/A Caravan Named Desire • 4. Quarreler's Pass/Toadcatcher • 5. Swamp and Sensibility/Wax Museum • 6. Marcy at the Gates • 7. Scavenger Hunt/The Plantars Check In • 8. Lost in Newtopia/Sprig Gets Schooled • 9. Little Frogtown/Hopping Mall • 10. The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers/A Day at the Aquarium • 11. The Shut-In! • 12. Night Drivers/Return to Wartwood • 13. Ivy on the Run/After the Rain • 14. The First Temple • 15. New Wartwood/Friend or Frobo? • 16. Toad to Redemption/Maddie & Marcy • 17. The Second Temple/Barrel's Warhammer • 18. Bessie & MicroAngelo/The Third Temple • 19. The Dinner/Battle of the Bands • 20. True Colors
Season 3 1. The New Normal • 2. Hop 'Til You Drop/Turning Point • 3. Thai Feud/Adventures in Catsitting • 4. Fight at the Museum/Temple Frogs • 5. Fixing Frobo/Anne-sterminator • 6. Mr. X/Sprig's Birthday • 7. Spider-Sprig/Olivia & Yunan • 8. Hollywood Hop Pop/If You Give a Frog a Cookie • 9. Froggy Little Christmas • 10. Escape to Amphibia • 11. Commander Anne/Sprivy • 12. Sasha's Angels/Olm Town Road • 13. Mother of Olms/Grime's Pupil • 14. The Root of Evil/The Core & The King • 15. Newts in Tights/Fight or Flight • 16. The Three Armies/The Beginning of the End • 17. All In • 18. The Hardest Thing
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