| — This is a transcribed copy of Lily Pad Thai. — |
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[Open on the Plantar home. In the kitchen, Anne's coaching Sprig in tossing pizza dough as Polly rolls up a small ball of it. Hop Pop is stirring a pot on the stove.]
Anne: There you go. Now you're getting it.
Hop Pop: Anne, wanna chop us some veggies for me?
Anne: You got it, HP.
(Anne grunts as she bounces a vegetable onto the table, cuts it with ease and places it in a bowl.)
Hop Pop: Wow, where'd you learn to cut like that?
Anne: You know, my parents actually owned a Thai restaurant back home. (She pulls out her phone, which shows a picture of Domino.) Ah, whoops. Hold on. (Shuffles through her photos until one of Thai Go is shown.) I used to work there all the time and help out. I hope they're doing okay without me.
Hop Pop: Well, how about that. A restaurant.
Polly: Pretty impressive, Anne.
[An explosion goes off. Sprig is lying on the floor covered in soot.]
Sprig: Yep, I blew up the pizza.
Hop Pop: Oh, dang it, Sprig. Well, looks like this meal's a bust. Who wants to eat out?
Anne: Oh, wow. This place is not to code.
Anne: Oh, man. The font on these menus is way too small. Rookie mistake.
Stumpy: Here you are. Four bowls of slop. Enjoy. Or don't. Makes no difference to me.
Sprig: Thanks, Stumpy.
Albus Duckweed: Excuse me, hello. Over here. Yoo hoo!
Stumpy: There be a problem, sir?
Duckweed: Um, yes, there's only one fly in my soup. There should be dozens. I mean, how hard is it to run a restaurant, anyway? You just put food on tables. A tadpole can do it.
Anne: [groans] Who's that jerk? And why won't he shut up?
Sprig: That is Albus Duckweed. He writes reviews for the paper. They have comic strips sometimes.
Polly: Blah! He thinks he's better than everyone else just 'cause he talks good.
Hop Pop: It's true.
Anne: [groans] A foodie. Say no more. We dealt with snobs like him all the time back home. Just listening to him is driving me crazy. [groans] I can't take this anymore.
Hop Pop: Anne, just ignore it and enjoy your slug gruel. Anne?
Duckweed: I mean, seriously, look at this place.
Anne: Hey. Lay off, buddy. Running a restaurant is hard.
Stumpy: Kid, what are you doing?
Duckweed: Ha! Well, what does a creature like you know about running a restaurant?
Anne: Well, what does a little lizard like you know about anything? Besides, my parents ran a restaurant back home, so I know what I'm talking about.
Duckweed: Well, if your parents are anything like you, I'm sure their restaurant was terrible.
Anne: Oh, yeah? Well, tell you what, then. Why don't you come back in, I don't know, two days or something? And we'll have completely turned this place around.
Stumpy: I, uh, I beg your pardon. What?
Duckweed: Oh, a wager, is it? Fine, I'll be back in two days. Looking forward to writing my review and shutting this place down.
Stumpy: Kid, what have you done? That was the most popular critic in town. One bad review from him and we're finished.
Anne: Stumpy, I know I got carried away, but we can do this. The Boonchuy family pride is at stake. What do you say?
Stumpy: I say... you just put me out of business. Bound to happen eventually, I suppose.
Hop Pop: Anne, did you just promise to save this restaurant?
Sprig: In two days?
Polly: By yourself?
Anne: Yep. That's, uh, that's pretty much what just happened. Uh, me and my big mouth.
[Stumpy humming]
Stumpy: Dang mushroom needs replacing. Not that it matters anymore. [finds Anne standing in the corner with a wide smile; exclaims] Mother of pearl!
Anne: Hey, Stumpy!
Stumpy: How long you been here?
Anne: All night. Couldn't sleep, too excited! So, you ready to beat that critic?
Stumpy: [scoffs] Creepy kid.
Anne: What do you wanna start with? Change the menu, redecorate... Burn this place to the ground and start over?
Stumpy: Look, kid, you're on your own. Do whatever you want. It's not gonna make a difference in the end, anyway.
Anne: [laughs] Oh. That is where you're wrong.
Anne(cleaning): Pow! Ha-cha! Ha!
(Hits Wally in the face with mop)
Wally: Oh, what day is it?
[grunting]
[Stumpy groans]
[growling]
[screams]
[growls]
Stumpy: [laughs] I knew about that garbage lizard.
[sighs]
[shouting]
Stumpy: [Stumpy laughs] Nice shot. Direct hit! You got it. Whoo!
Anne: Thanks.
Stumpy: One at a time.
Stumpy: I gotta hand it to you, Anne. This place looks great. We even scrubbed the Wally out.
Wally: That's what you think! [laughs]
[crashing]
Stumpy: The critic is gonna be blown away.
Anne: Blown away? Ha! No. All we've done is mop the floors and clean some dishes. This place is still a house of broken dreams.
Stumpy: Harsh, but on point.
Anne: If we're gonna impress that critic, we've got a lot more work to do. We need a complete and total transformation.
Stumpy: What do you mean? Like placemats?
Anne: Bigger.
Stumpy: Oh. I'm gonna need me hammer hand for this.
[whirring, hammering]
(The next day)
Mrs. Croaker: What are you all looking at?
[crowd chattering]
Villager: Stumpy's changed overnight.
Villager: Wow, look over there.
Villager: It's so exotic.
Villager: Oh, my goodness.
Anne: สวัสดีค่ะ (swadi-ka; translates to "good evening" or "hello" in Thai) (as she does a wai) And welcome to Stumpy's! Wartwood's first frog-Thai fusion restaurant, now with napkins.
[crowd chattering]
Villager: Napkins? What are those?
[The scene fades to an aerial view of inside the restaurant, with people eating inside]
Anne: Need a refill of fly ice tea? On the house, sweetie.
Anne: Order up. Enjoy!
Villager: Mmm.
Villager: That's good.
Mrs. Croaker: I'll take the maggot larb. Did I say that right? Larb?
Anne: It's actually pronounced "laap."
Mrs. Croaker: Well, how about that? One foot in the grave and still learning new things.
Stumpy: I've never seen this place so packed. What-- What's this weird feeling in me chest?
Anne: That is called hope. I think we might actually pull this off, dude.
Anne: Please. Please stop ringing that bell.
Sprig: Anne, this place is amazing.
Hop Pop: You weren't kidding when you said you were good at this.
Anne: Oh, yeah! Score one for Anne.
Hop Pop: So, table for three.
Anne: Ooh, sorry guys. All the tables are full.
(Frog clears his throat loudly, unzips costume to reveal Albus Duckweed.)
Duckweed: They can have my table. I am done here.
Anne: [gasps] It's...
Stumpy: Duckweed! He's here!
Mrs. Croaker: I have another question.
Stumpy: Thanks for coming.
Anne: Okay, great, see ya.
Anne: Duckweed...What's with the disguise?
Duckweed: Oh, this? It's kind of a critic thing.
Anne: Really?
Duckweed: Uh-huh. It's to guarantee that we get a genuine experience, you know?
Anne: Oh, interesting.
Duckweed: If you knew it was me, you'd probably zhuzh it up a bit, make it a little bit better. But in a disguise, you're just gonna serve me like anyone else.
Anne: Oh, that's actually really clever.
Duckweed: Thank you!
Anne: So, did you like the food?
Duckweed: Oh, right... No! I found the experience had no cohesion, like one thing was clumsily grafted on top of another. And when I publish my review, your restaurant will be ruined. [laughs] I love my job.
Anne: Will you, uh... Will you give us a moment? Stay right there!
Stumpy: That's it. It's over. We're finished! The second that review goes up, this restaurant goes down.
Anne: [grunts] Pull yourself together, man. We can do this. It's time to bring out the big guns. My parents' squid and basil special. No critic in town could resist.
Stumpy: Okay. (Anne smacks him.) I already said okay!
Anne: Sorry, sorry. I am amped!
Anne: Hey, we've got a special dinner just for you. Be right back.
Stumpy: Don't go anywhere.
Duckweed: Amusing. All right, I'll play your little game.
Hop Pop: So...this mean we can't have your table?
Anne: Man, squid are huge here.
Stumpy: It's not a squid. It's a kraken.
Anne: Eh, potato, tomato. [grunts] Gangway, coming through. All right, dude. Get ready to be blown away.
Duckweed: Oh, my...What an exotic selection.
Kraken: (growls)
[Duckweed screams]
Kraken: (roaring)
Polly: Assassinating your critics, I love it.
Kraken: (roaring)
Anne: Okay, this is a disaster. I never should have made this dumb wager.
Stumpy: Anne, calm down. Maybe we can't save the restaurant, but we sure can save those people's lives. What do you say?
Anne: I say...let's crush this calamari. [gasps] I've got an idea.
[exclaims]
Kraken: (roars)
[all screaming]
[yells]
Stumpy: Mm... Oh, that's good.
Anne: Stumpy! The lemon!
Stumpy: Coming right up!
Anne: Pad See Ew, you later.
Kraken: (screeches)
Sprig: Yeah, I don't think this thing's getting back up.
All: Phew.
Anne: So, Duckweed. Guess you got a bad review to write, huh?
Duckweed: Bad...Bad? That was incredible! A food that tries to eat you? The irony, the ecstasy! I simply must tell everyone. To the message board!
Sprig: You go, girl!
Polly: Go, Anne!
Hop Pop: She lives in my basement.
Anne: Wait, you guys have a message board?
Sprig: Sure do. It's a literal board.
Anne: Well, guess we better clean this place up. Again. Stumpy, I'm sorry about all this. I took things way too far.
Stumpy: No way, Anne. This whole thing was a big success. You even convinced this old grump to actually care. If your parents could see this, I'm sure they'd be proud.
Anne: Thanks, Stumpy. Put her there. Oh, this feels nice. What is this? Oak? Mahogany?
Stumpy: It's carved from the bones of me missing hand.
Anne: Oh, come on!