— This is a transcribed copy of Hop Luck. — |
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[The frog being carried by a dragonfly soars through the sky.]
Frog: Aah! Help! Somebody help me!
[Anne shows Sprig and Polly a video on her phone.]
Anne: And this bad boy is my kitty Domino.
[Domino meows.]
Anne: You guys would like her. She's got fire.
Sprig: Ooh!
Polly: Aw, she's so tiny! I feel huge!
Sprig: Hmm. I will... [pulls out a hammer] set her free!
[Anne reclaims her phone.]
Anne: Please stop doing that.
[sizzling]
Anne: [sniffs] Ugh! What is that? Did something crawl under the house and die?
Sprig: [sniffing] Worse, Anne. Much worse. Hop Pop is cooking!
[The kids return home; Sprig grabs the door handle.]
Sprig: Brace yourself.
Anne: Brace myself for what?
Sprig: Aah! [screaming]
[humming]
Hop Pop: Mmm!
[slurping]
Sprig: What's the plan this year, Hop Pop? Poison the competition? [Hop Pop bonks him with his spoon.] Ooh!
Hop Pop: The plan is to win.
Anne: Win?
Hop Pop: The annual village potluck. Every year we frogs gather for a great contest. The family who brings the best-tasting dish is showered with love and copper coins. The family with the worst-tasting dish spends the night in...
[thunderclap]
Hop Pop: the shame cage!
Anne: Brutal.
Sprig: And guess which family ends up there every year.
[all three sigh]
Anne: If you think I'm gonna let my favorite froggy family end up in a cage, you've got another thing coming. I know I'm not technically a Plantar, but maybe I can help.
All: Mmm!
Sprig: Anne, we'd sure appreciate it.
Anne: So, what you making over there, Hop Pop? Sock gumbo?
Hop Pop: No, silly. It's a traditional recipe from my family's cookbook. We been using this baby since I was a pollywog.
Anne: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think I found your problem, guys.
[all gasp]
Anne: Old things are dumb!
[gulps]
Polly: Oh, that makes sense.
Sprig: It's all so clear now.
Hop Pop: But we Plantars have always cooked these recipes. What would my great-gam-gam say?
Anne: She'd say "Move on."
Hop Pop: [sighs] She was a fierce woman.
Anne: Look, if we're gonna win this thing, we need something new, something revolutionary, something no one in the swamp has ever seen before. Something like...
Sprig: [gasps]
Anne: Pizza!
Sprig: Whoa.
Polly: I don't know what it is, but I love it.
Anne: Pizza is the ultimate dish. You haven't lived until you've shared one with your friends at the mall.
Hop Pop: Now, now, hold on. Before we get carried away, what about this tried-and-true recipe? Swamp mold pot pie!
Sprig/Polly: Pizza! Pizza!
Hop Pop: Okay, okay. Sheesh.
Sprig: We'll win for sure with this, Hop Pop.
Anne: Now all we gotta do is-- [clears throat] All we gotta do is get four ingredients-- dough, cheese, basil, and tomatoes. Are you guys ready to make our pizza dreams a pizza reality?
Sprig/Polly: Pizza dreams! Sprig: Oh! Oh! Maybe we should put pineapple on it. Seems like a natural fit. [groans as Anne pins him to the wall]
Anne: [whispers] Don't you dare talk about pineapple on my pizza. Ever. Okay. Let's go get those ingredients. Pizza dreams!
Sprig: [weakly] Pizza dreams.
Polly: [shakes Sprig] Pizza dreams!
[Flies buzz around a roll of flour as Mr. Flour, the baker, stomps on it before throwing it into his oven.]
Mr. Flour: If you want the dough, the boy has to marry my daughter.
[Reveals Maddie Flour with a voodoo doll of Sprig as ominous music is heard.]
Maddie: Hiiiii, Spriiiiiiig...
Mr. Flour: Ain't she adorable?
Anne: Done.
Hop Pop: You know, if we used a traditional recipe, we wouldn't have to sell Sprig.
Anne: No! That old book is old. Sprig's eternal happiness is a small price to pay for pizza.
Polly: Agreed.
Sprig: Aw, it's not so bad. Maybe we'll learn to love each other. Aah!
Maddie: I've seen your death in my mind.
Sprig: I was kinda hoping it'd be a surprise. [chuckles]
Maddie: [whispers] It will be.
[sinister chuckle, slowed down]
Anne: Congratulations on your new son. Now cough up the dough.
Mr. Flour: Yay!
Anne: Pleasure doing business with ya.
Sprig: Well, looks like we gotta go. [chuckles] See ya.
Polly: I wanna be the maid of honor!
Maddie: See you soon, hubby...
[flies clucking like chickens]
[all screaming]
[roaring]
Mrs. Croaker: Thanks again for helping me out! I know Brutus can be a handful.
[bellowing]
Sprig: What are we here for again?
Anne: Cheese!
Polly: [laughing]
Hop Pop: You know, there's a recipe in here that doesn't need cheese.
Anne: No old recipes! Huh? [panting] [gasps] Hey, Brutus! Over here! ¡Toro! ¡Toro!
[roaring]
Anne: [laughs] Oh, come on!
Sprig: Blah!
Anne: [grunts, sighs]
Anne/Sprig: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[Brutus roars.]
Mrs. Croaker: Here you go, deary. A hunk of cheese made fresh from the milk of those ca--
Anne: Please don't tell me where it comes from.
Anne: Hey, careful with that basil, dude. We had to fight off like ten giant aphids to get it.
Sprig: Who knew ultimate flavor could be so painful?
Hop Pop: Almost lost my behind to those things.
Sprig: This is the price of progress, Hop Pop.
Anne: Exactly. And we've only got one ingredient left. Tomatoes. According to this, they should be up ahead.
Hop Pop: Still can't believe I traded my favorite dentures for that map.
Sprig: You know, I've never actually tasted a tomato. No one in town really sells them.
Hop Pop: There's a reason for that. They're in the "dangerous vegetables" section. It suggests we go for prunes instead. Can't go wrong with prunes!
Anne: Whoa-whoa. "Dangerous vegetables"? Come on!
[roaring]
Polly: Ho...
Sprig: ly...
Anne: ...tomato.
[roars]
Hop Pop: You know, this baby's got some great substitutes, all of which are delightfully harmless.
Sprig: Couldn't hurt to hear a few options.
Anne: Hold on! Guys, the shame cage isn't just in the town square. It's up here. You're not gonna change the world without taking a few risks. We need to be bold, groundbreaking, brave!
Hop Pop: Anne, there's a big difference between courage and stupidity! [screaming]
[roaring]
All: Hop Pop! [yell]
[Anne panting]
[all yelling]
Sprig: My fiancée was right! [all grunting]
Hop Pop: Holy smokes! Acid!
Anne: Well, at least the ingredients are safe. No!
[echoing]
Anne: The ingredients! Everything we've worked for!
Sprig: At least it'll be a quick, painless death.
Polly: Why would this be painless?
Sprig: Just let me have this lie!
Anne: [sighs] My revolutionary ideas were supposed to save you guys, not get you killed. I shouldn't have so stubborn. I just really wanted to share a pizza with you guys.
Hop Pop: Ah, I didn't care about that pizza stuff anyway. But you were really trying to help this family out, and that's worth something in my book.
Anne: Your book? That's it. Is there anything in the old ways that could help us right now?
Hop Pop: Well, I don't know. Nothing especially useful. Just that the throat of this giant tomato plant is absolutely delicious eaten raw.
[loud burp]
[gurgling]
[chomping]
[all yelling]
[all roaring]
[loud groaning]
Polly: [spits] Know your place, plant!
[bell tolling]
Anne: There isn't much time. Let's go home and make one of your old recipes, Hop Pop.
Hop Pop: Yup. But maybe we can spruce it up with something a little dangerous.
Frog: Yup. Still up here. Still need help.
Frog #1: Put it right over here.
Frog #2: Just a little touch of goodness.
Frog #3 A few more bug legs should do it.
Frog #4 Is that fly gonna say up there?
Anne/Hop Pop: Perfect.
[fanfare]
Mayor Toadstool: All right! Let the annual potluck begin! Let's get to tastin' those dishes. Mmm! That is "scrumptious." Oh! Ooh! What have we here? [chomping] Oh, that is delicious! Yeah! Excellent effort! And last, but not least-- [sighs] the Plantars. What filth have you cooked up this ti-- Hmm? Tomato? That's awfully dangerous. [chuckles] Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!
[drumroll]
Mayor Toadstool: Why, I do declare! This is the best dish the Plantar family has ever brought to a potluck!
Hop Pop: What?
[all gasping]
Sprig: What? Did we do it? Did we actually win?
Mayor Toadstool: Win? No! No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, it's better than usual, but it's still terrible. Last place, as usual.
[sad "wah-wah" theme plays]
Mayor Toadstool: You folks should know the way to the shame cage by now. Hurry along. All right, boys, light it up.
[all sigh]
Sprig: Cheer up, guys. Sure we came in last. Again. But thanks to Anne's new ideas and Hop Pop's old ones, we've done the best we've ever done.
Hop Pop: You know, he's right.
Polly: Yeah!
Anne: We did, didn't we? Uh, this is weird, but... any chance I could squeeze in there?
Hop Pop: How 'bout it, Carl?
Carl: The more the merrier.
Hop Pop: [chuckles] Hear that?
Sprig: Get in here, you crazy kid.
Anne: Whoo-hoo!
Carl: [grunting]
Anne: Well, if we can't share a pizza, at least we can share this. And you know, honestly, this isn't so bad... Hey, what the heck? What was that?
Sprig: Ooh, I forgot to mention the shame nuggets.
[crowd jeering]
Frogs: You people should be ashamed!
Mr. Flour: Hey! That's my son-in-law!
Sprig: Hi.
Polly: Is that the best you got?
Hop Pop: [sighs] Tradition is such a beautiful--[gets hit by a shame nugget] Son of a slug!