| — This is a transcribed copy of Girl Time. — |
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| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| (The scene opens on the back of the Plantars' house. Anne is relaxing with Polly on her lap while Sprig and Hop Pop sit nearby, dipping their feet on the pond.) | |
| Sprig: | This one's going all the way, baby. |
| (Sprig hawks, spits up high and lands in the pond.) | |
| Hop Pop: | Heh! You call that a spit? Now watch this. |
| (Hop Pop starts gurgling and spits up further than Sprig's; it lands at the edge of the pond, which wakes up a hermit crab using a tin cup as its shell.) | |
| Anne: | [groans] Just when I thought you guys couldn't get any nastier. (Sprig and Hop Pop gasp in shock.) |
| Hop Pop: | Nasty? Why, spitting is practically a sport in Wartwood. |
| Sprig: | We even have a town record. Whoever breaks the record gets a trophy. (The scene briefly shows a gold trophy in Wartwood.) |
| Anne: | A trophy for spitting? I can't believe you two are exposing Polly to this sort of— (Polly interrupts Anne.) |
| Polly: | THAT RECORD IS MINE! |
| (Polly starts to gurgle extremely, which causes Anne to recoil and evade Polly's spit as it shoots up high in the air. It lands on the hermit crab, outspitting them both.) | |
| Hop Pop: | That’s my little spitter. |
| Sprig: | You can spit the frown off a widow. |
| Anne: | (cringing) Wait a second... |
| (The scene cuts to an extreme close-up of Hop Pop picking his ear.) | |
| Hop Pop: | I always said you'd be the best in the family. (He picks out earwax on his finger.) Well, you take after your great aunt Gertrude. (Anne gasps in shock. Hop Pop sniffs the ear wax.) She was always very good at spitting... |
| (Anne cringes as Hop Pop puts the earwax in his pocket. Anne gasps in shock, seeing Sprig dunk his head in the pond and emerges with crawling insects on his head and green gunk on his mouth.) | |
| Anne: | Oh, no. Polly, you've been surrounded by boys your whole life. It's not too late. I can fix this. You need girl time! She needs girl time! (She picks up Polly and snaps her finger.) Hop Pop, wallet! |
| (Hop Pop immediately gives his wallet to Anne without thinking. Anne takes Polly by the arm and leaves.) | |
| Polly: | Where are you taking me, crazy lady?! (Anne closes the door on their way out.) |
| Hop Pop: | Not sure what she wants with my wallet, not like I got any money. |
| Sprig: | Less talk, more spit! (They both immediately resume spitting.) |
| (Scene transitions to Wartwood. Anne excitedly strolls into town, holding Polly in her hands.) | |
| Anne: | Whoo! Girl time. It's time for giiiirrrrl time. (Polly bounces away from Anne and lands on top of a barrel.) |
| Polly: | (to Anne, suspicious) Okay, Anne, what the heck's going on? |
| Anne: | Look, hanging out too much with Sprig and Hop Pop is dangerous. If we aren't careful, we'll wake crusty and storing our boogers in jars! We need a day to reset. A day that's ladies' only. |
| Polly: | (doubtful) That sounds bad. |
| Anne: | Look, when I'm done with you, (Holds up Polly, shows her reflection on a silver spade.) you are going to feel like a new Polly. Trust me. |
| Polly: | (brightens up) Well, I guess it couldn't hurt. Plus, you and Sprig are always getting into fun trouble! So what are we doing? Toad rustling? SNAKE PUNCHING?! |
| Anne: | Better. We're going to... (The scene cuts to inside a spa resort. Anne kicks the doors open to show Polly.) A spa. |
| Polly: | (confused) What? |
| (The camera shows the spa resort interior with frog fountain statues, large colored crystals and a receptionist with his eyes closed. Anne sees two frogs wearing facial masks and cucumber slices drift against each other on a long spring.) | |
| Anne: | (to Polly) Those guys know what's up. |
| (Anne approaches the receptionist.) | |
| Anne: | Two of your fanciest spa treatments, please? |
| Spa Receptionist: | That will be... (plays xylophone) ten coppers... each. (rings a bell) |
| (Anne opens up Hop Pop's wallet. She takes a handful of notes reading "Hop Pop's I.O.U.'s" and an illustration of Hop Pop saying "I'm good for it!" in all capitals.) | |
| Anne: | What the-- Hop Pop's IOU's? Uhh... (She gives a note to receptionist.) will this work? |
| Spa Receptionist: | (opens his eyes and inspects it) Hmmm... well, it does say he's good for it. (rings a bell) Accepted. Here are your towels. |
| (An employee comes out of a small door, carrying two towels and offer them to Anne and Polly.) | |
| Anne: | Alrighty, then. |
| Polly: | I don’t know, Anne. This seems boring. (excited) Why don’t we do something fun instead? (She whips employee with her towel, laughing.) |
| Anne: | (picks up Polly) Polly, there's more to life than spitting and hitting stuff. |
| Polly: | (confused) R...really? |
| Anne: | Just trust me. |
| Polly: | Well… |
| Anne: | Girl time, ENGAGE! |
| (Scene transitions to Anne relaxing in the spa pool next to a bored Polly. Underwater, three koi fish begin kissing the skin of Anne's feet. Anne lifts her left eye, notices Polly is riding on a koi fish like a galloping horse.) | |
| Polly: | Whoo-hoo! Who-hoo! (Anne catches Polly back to her seat; she places a large cucumber slice onto Polly's bored face.) |
| (Scene transitions to a hairdresser called "Hair Are Frogs". A gossiping barber is straightening and brushing Anne's hair to be longer. Polly is still bored next to Anne.) | |
| Barber: | So then I says to him, I says, “I don’t want to eat there.” He says, “Why don’t you wanna eat there? (Anne notices Polly missing again.) You ate there last week, I thought you liked it.” |
| (Polly is seen throwing combs gleefully like knives onto a poster and a comb jar. Two female frogs quietly attempt to catch Polly behind her. Polly notices and throws a comb at them; both ducking down in time. The orange frog jumps down onto Polly.) | |
| (Scene transitions to a clothes shop called "Fancy Olde Dresses". Anne leaves the dressing room, wearing a long green dress.) | |
| Anne: | Hey! (She sees an angry Polly wearing a tiny fancy dress with a neck ruff covering her mouth, struggling to move. Anne thinks for an idea.) Hmm... |
| (Anne picks up a white wig and places it on Polly's head. After paying stylist, Anne and Polly go to Felicia's Tea Shoppe. Felicia is handing out scones.) | |
| Customer: | Thank you. |
| (She gives the cookies to Anne and Polly. Anne hands the recipient to Felicia.) | |
| Anne: | Here you go. |
| (Polly tries to grab the scones, but couldn’t reach them. She pulls her ruff down to open her mouth.) | |
| Polly: | Anne, I thought girl time was gonna be exciting. You and Sprig are always getting mobbed, or eaten, or eaten by mobs. |
| Anne: | Yeah, but not by choice. Come on, isn’t this great? Sure beats pocket boogers and spitting, right? (She eats a scone from the plate.) Excuse me, madam, what kind of scone is this? |
| Felicia: | Oh, those are dung beetle. |
| Anne: | (shocked; gulps it down) Tasty. |
| Felicia: | Not to put my snout in other people’s business, but if you ladies are having girl time, I know this great place where you can get a full body massage. |
| Anne: | What? I love massages. I used to get them all the time back home. |
| (Flashback to Anne sitting in a massage chair in a department store.) | |
| Salesman (flashback): | Uh, ma'am, you really need to go. You’re making everybody uncomfortable. |
| Anne (flashback): | Neeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeeeeer. |
| (Back to present day.) | |
| Anne: | I never had a legit full body massage before. We're going. (Polly feels upset.) |
| Polly: | You know what, I think I'll pass. Gotta get home and work on my distance. (Polly begins to spit.) |
| Anne: | [gasps] Polly Plantar, I am not giving up on you. If there’s one thing that will fix you, it's a massage! |
| (Anne takes Polly and runs immediately to the exit. Felicia takes a closer look at the IOU, suspicious. She looks over to the cashier counter with a mugshot of Hop Pop on the wall with the words "Definitely Not Good for It!" written on the frame.) | |
| Felicia: | (gasps, shouts saliva out of her mouth) Someone get the Constable! |
Anne: Uh, hello? Anyone here? Well, this place seems nice.
Tuti: I help you?
Anne: [screams] Hi. Who are you?
Tuti: Am town healer, Tuti. Also part-time bounty hunter.
Polly: I like her.
Anne: Tuti, huh? Well, we're here for that full body massage.
Tuti: Full body is good. Come, we get personal.
Anne: Ooh! I'll go first. Whoa, you frogs are really flexible, huh? Are you sure you know how to massage a human?
Tuti: Is same.
Anne: [grunts and shrieks]
Polly: Whoa, mama.
[grunts]
[shrieks]
Anne: [eyes watering] This is amazing. So... relaxing. Is that my foot?
Polly: And on that note, I'm out.
Tuti: Is done. You are reborn.
Anne: Polly, you are going to love this.
Tuti: Pollywog gone. You talk to no one.
Anne: [gasps] What? She ditched me? But this is all for her. [groans] I got to find her and get this thing back on track. See you, Tuti.
Tuti: Hmm.
[door opens]
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Afternoon, Tuti. Wonderin' if you've seen a couple of ol' scammers handing out these fake IOUs today.
Tuti: Scammers? Fake?! [yells] Come. I lead way.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Fiery as ever, Tuti.
Wally: [burps]
Polly: [loud burp]
Wally: Dang, kid. You got the burp of a titan!
Polly: Thanks, Wally.
Anne: Hey! [panting]
Polly: Oh. Hey, Anne.
Anne: What the heck, dude? You ditched me? And now I find you rubbing elbows with the local deadbeat?
Wally: That hurt me soul.
Polly: Well, at least this guy doesn't waste my time with stuff I think is stupid and boring!
Anne: [gasps] Well, excuse me for trying to make you less of a disgusting little slob! [gasps]
Wally: (stunned)
Polly: (stunned)
Anne: Polly, I-- [stammers] That's not--I mean, what I mean is--(Screams suddenly as Tuti grabs her from behind.)
Tuti: Tuti caught thief!
Anne: Wait, what do you mean "thief"? I totally paid.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Sorry, little lady, but Hopediah's broke. Which makes these IOUs you've been handing out totally worthless. (Steps aside to reveal Sprig and Hop Pop with handcuffs)
Anne: [gasps]
Sprig: These chains represent our burden on society!
Hop Pop: Dang it, Anne, how much did you spend?
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Now pay up, or I'm gonna have to do my duty, and put y'all in debtor's prison.
Anne: We'll have to sit in a chicken coop?
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Less like sittin' and more like gatherin' eggs for the town until your debt's paid off.
Anne: That doesn't sound so bad.
[screeching]
[screams]
Anne: No!
[all grunting]
Polly: You let my family go!
Anne: [gasps] That's it! Hey, mustache! Is that trophy made out of gold?
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Twenty four karat, ma'am.
Anne: All right, Polly. Time to shine.
Polly: Wait, what?
Anne: Spit, dude. Spit like you've never spit before. Break that record, and save this family.
Polly: Let's do this.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Okay, little lady. You get three official chances. You ready?
(Polly spits twice, falling short.)
Villager: I don't think she's gonna make it.
Villager: It's not looking good.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Only one more chance, little lady.
Hop Pop: Something ain't right. She's not spitting at full force. Almost as if she's ashamed.
Anne: Yeah, and I think I know why. Hey, you okay?
Polly: Yeah. I guess it's just kinda hard to spit when you feel gross.
Anne: [sighs] Polly, I'm the gross one. I tried to change someone that's perfect the way they are.
Polly: You saying you were wrong?
Anne: Very wrong.
Polly: Super wrong?
Anne: Super wrong.
Polly: You're always wrong?
Anne: I'm always--Hey, not always.
Polly: Okay, just most of the time.
Anne: Mmm.
(They hug.)
Polly: Aw. Okay, let's finish this. (Spits and breaks record.)
[all cheering]
Anne: You did it!
(Tuti splits the trophy and distributes it to pay the townspeople before giving the Plantars a small nugget.)
Tuti: Here, extra.
Polly: Wow.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Well, your debt is repaid and my work here is done.
Sprig: Whoo-hoo! Go Polly!
Hop Pop: That's my little spitter.
Sprig: So what are we gonna do with the extra gold?
Anne: I think I have an idea.
Anne: A little to the left. There, that's perfect.
Sprig: [chuckles] Whoo-hoo!
Anne: Well?
Polly: I love it! Hey, sorry, girl time was such a bust.
Anne: Eh, don't worry about it. I mean, the more I think about it, the whole idea of girl time is pretty weird. I mean, who's to say boys don't like spas?
Sprig: [gasps] You went to the spa? Without us?
Hop Pop: Oh, Anne, I love the spa. Did you get that fishy pedicure?
Anne: Yeah, it was amazing.
Hop Pop: Oh, I agree. You know they're actually eating the dead skin off the bottom of your feet?